So, I am thinking that the writers of the many “Blank for Idoits” guide books also invented the voicemail system for most phones, cell phones.  It’s 2007.  I am thinking most people understand the mechanics of leaving a voicemail, unless they flew here straight from a tribal village in the uttermost parts of the world. (In which case, them “flying” here would be a whole other interesting post.)  Instead, just in case we were confused we have to patiently sit through some woman’s voice, saying, “To leave a voicemail press (#) or wait for the tone.”   Then, just in case we didn’t quite understand, after a brief pause, you hear, “At the tone, please leave your message.”  Then, just in case we forget to hang up at the end, the polite woman’s voice comes back on at the end of our message asking us if we are satisfied with our message or whether we’d like to redo our message, or if we’re done, press pound, etc….how does anyone survive without this friendly prompt service? 

A friend of mine and I were talking about it and we’re thinking that they could just eliminate the cheesy polite woman’s voice now.  I think most of us have it down pat.  If not, maybe it could be an option when you buy your service.  The option would read:  For those who struggle with the obvious when leaving a voicemail, for an extra fee, your service will include a strangely polite monotone woman’s voice prompting you through all the steps in order to leave a satisfying voicemail for your friends and family.

 I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I find having to sit through prompts for the obvious extremely annoying.  Sometimes there’s a bypass number, but generally you find yourself sarcastically quoting with the monotone polite woman’s voice….”To leave a voicemail, please wait for the tone….”    There are several versions out there, but they’re so common, you can quote them all once you hear the first couple of words.

Modern technology at its best?

 My apologies to anyone who has made their living as the cheesy polite monotone woman’s voice for all voicemails everywhere.  I’m sure if this was eliminated, however, you could find work elsewhere.  Your voice has a lot of experience and is very well known now.

(What are your current pet peeves?)

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About cakboliv

Born in Cochabamba, Bolivia to wonderful missionary parents, Howard and Maxine Morarie. Grew up in Bolivia, both in a remote jungle village

3 responses »

  1. I wholeheartedly agree. Just give me the beep already! I already know you’re not there, so just let me leave the message and drive on. I have no desire to spend more time with the polite, monotone voice lady.

    My other pet peeve, also related to phone systems, is the voice-activated automated system used by every insurance company on the planet. You know, the one where you scream “Yes!”, “No!”, “I don’t have it!” or “Associate” into the phone and that same darn polite, monotone voice lady says things in return like “I heard ‘Yes.’ If that is correct, please press one,” and “I’m sorry, I didn’t understand.” She never actually seems to understand what I’m saying and for some reason she understands “Associate” even less than other responses. Just give me the associate right off the bat and let me get on with my day!

  2. Scott says:

    You obviously have not called my house recently. The instructions are complicated so the boisterous male voice is necessary. Listen carefully.

  3. Donna says:

    After I figured out that I would get charged for the entire minute ANYWAY, after listening to the torturous drone of the voicemail options on spouse-man’s phone, I gave in and just let it go. I don’t leave messages unless it is absolutely detrimental to some life process. Stephanie’s example is my other peeve, good one. What I absolutely hate, yes hate, is the message that tells me that first: they are blocking undesirable calls and I need to further press a button in order to continue, then second having to listen to all the options for the entire family. I don’t leave messages there either, in fact I quit calling that house.

    Here’s another option; do like the stepdaughters do – NEVER leave voicemail and count on the fact that caller ID will be the subtle prompt to call back…we don’t respond to subtle prompts :^). And with all that, I am calling Scott’s house just to check it out.

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