Note:  True Confessions ahead…

So, sometime life just feels grueling.  I’ve been living there lately.  I feel like the bi-polar Christian – I know how I want to be – exuding joy and always quick with a godly and authentic response, but the resevoir seems dry, dusty in fact.  I’ve been here before – it’s just been a while.  But, this I do know – I can quit, throw a tantrum, freak out, scream, pound my fists, cry, mourn, be stubborn, and more. But God, His love never quits!  Thank goodness!  Just as I can allow my own kids the opportunity to throw a fit, then gather them in my arms and comfort them and talk through their issues and help them relax away their tension bathed in the love I so gladly give them – that’s what God can do and does – over and over and over for me!

Psalm 136 in The Message translation is a great reminder that God’s love never quits – 26 times in fact.  And it’s not just mentioned over random niceties – it’s reminding us of HUGE impactful interventions motivated by love where God didn’t quit – things like:  splitting the Red Sea for his people to cross, conquering kingdoms to keep his people safe, creating the universe for his people balancing all the elements into perfect harmony so the waters stay in their boundaries and the skies are hemmed with the stars…stuff like that.

Sometimes I need a GIANT paradigm shift to pull myself out of the gruel.  I’m not there yet – but I’m trying!

I wrote a simple song about this once:

[Verse]
Every time I find, questions in my mind – you are near me, so near me.
Even though I go, away from you, I know – you’ll never leave me.

[Chorus]
You are faithful, with every heartbeat and gentle whisper
You are leading me, You are leading me

[Bridge]
Longing for you, seeking you, reaching for you, knowing you!

So, here I am, probably much like you’ve been a time or two, humbled that God’s love never quits and trying really, really hard to let that really sink in!

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About cakboliv

Born in Cochabamba, Bolivia to wonderful missionary parents, Howard and Maxine Morarie. Grew up in Bolivia, both in a remote jungle village

3 responses »

  1. J says:

    Beautiful lyrics. You should sing it and post it for us all to hear.

  2. ~keri says:

    Hang in there Carol Ann! You are the most spiritual person I know and I admire how you are able to always seek Him…even when you are down. Praying fo ryou Sister!

  3. Debb says:

    I have visited that same dry and dusty reservoir too! I remember it to be a pretty lonely place, out in the middle of nowhere. It’s far, far away but it feels like it’s easy to get to. I wonder if it exists to remind us of His living water… to keep us close to Him and to help us see His strength in our weekness… My prayer is that your time with Him provides the refreshment you need and that your friends (like me and others) can encourage you! We love you SO much!

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