WARNING READERS: I might be a little sarcastic in this post – it’s a rant for sure!
At least that’s what it feels like! This week has been the week of “let’s allow for Carol Ann to really have the opportunity to exhibit extreme patience!” There have been many rants about customer service issues in countless blogs and articles…I know I’m not the only one, but SERIOUSLY (insert huge sigh of exasperation here).
Situation: My dearly loved iPod. not holding a charge. only plays when docked in to a docking station and if I remove it from any dock (or after charging with my iPod charger) it only holds a charge maybe 5 minutes.
- I try to call the iPod Store at Flatirons Mall to make a “genius bar” appointment. Last time I “dropped by” for something I was scolded and told to make an appointment the next time. Didn’t go over too well with me, but I thought, ok, I’ll follow protocol this time….
- I place the phone call to make an appointment and get a series of 332 choices (slight exaggeration here) through an automated system. I try to just punch “0” for a real person, nope, not gonna happen. Somehow I get routed to a person who I think lives in Turkmenistan (A small country in Central Asia, bordering the Caspian Sea, between Iran and Kazakhstan. The total land area is 488,100 sq km. The population is 4,863,169. It achieved its independence upon the dissolution of the USSR in 1991 – for all you trivia freaks out there.)
- I politely say I’m trying to book an appointment with the Apple Genius Bar at Flatirons Mall…yeah, the guy had no clue what I was talking about. Instead I am to give the iPod serial number and my blood type and then they try to determine what can be done. I’m put on hold for several hours (okay really about 7 minutes) and then he says what you’re longing all your life to hear, “Maam, I’m sorry, I need to transfer you. I only deal with iPod Nanos, you have an iPod Classic.” (Ummm, yeah, I knew that and said that in the beginning!)
- 10 minutes and a round of extremely exhilirating elevator hold music loops later…I have the incredible privilege of explaining my situation again to a new live person. “Hmmm, yes, I understand….and, well, yeah, I can’t do anything I need to transfer you to …..”
- I tune out and am transferred again. It was wonderful to hear the 15 minutes of the elevator songs loop again. I’m now humming to Barry Manilow and Niel Diamond. In the middle of “Forever in Blue Jeans” I’m rudely interupted by a “How can I help you?” Oh, yes, I’m trying to get my iPod fixed…I was disoriented from all the torture of elevator music!
- ONCE AGAIN, I am blessed to have the opportunity to share my situation with another person. This time we’re getting somewhere. Between me describing that I’m ready to spit nails and my warnings that I’m trying very hard to be polite, this person assures me that this will be my last stop. He says, “yes, I understand and yes, we can fix that, no problem” a lot. I begin to release a bit of tension and am thinking, “Oh, well, in the scheme of life, this is only a few hours!” I mention again to this seemingly decent individual, “Yeah, I just was trying to make an appt. at the Flatirons Mall – Genius Bar!” He says, “Well, you could have, but they would have routed you to me.” I ask if he even lives in the U.S. Yes, he says, in the MidWest somewhere. Small talk happens. Then he says, “Great, we’re almost all set. I am going to put you on hold ( I start to recoil in fear…) and then I’ll get back to you with all the information you need to get this taken care of and an authorization code.” Oh no, despair and dark feelings…I’m being sucked into the murky sinking sand of the dreaded elevator music loop HOLD land! Then I think, nope, he’s been helpful, this really is it.
- Nope. The gentleman returns on the line…”Here’s the thing, Mrs. Kelly, I can’t help you….I have to transfer you to…..” Arghhhhhh! I can’t believe it! So I a little not so politely express my disappointment. Again I say, “ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS MAKE AN APPOINTMENT AT THE FLATIRONS MALL…..” Long pause.
- Here’s the most frustrating response of all. “Mrs. Kelly,” he says, “Actually I recommend that you take your iPod in to the nearest Apple Store. They should be able to help you better than I can.
- What in the world!
So, I am making a trip to the Apple Store this weekend and maybe I’ll get my iPod fixed. I’m still frustrated.