Warning:  This post may offend a certain clientele of a certain restaurant  which is named in this post.  My apologies in advance to those of you who frequent this establishment.  May you continue to enjoy your time there.  🙂

Today a few folks from the office asked if I’d like to join them for lunch.  Being the “team player” that I try to be, I said “yes” then cringed in horror when they said where they were going.  I felt like I was going to hyperventilate…the horror movie shrieks began going off in my head.  I broke out in a cold sweat…they were going to the dreaded Black Eyed Pea Peek!

(Insert your own shrieks of terror here!)

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See, half a dozen years ago [at least] I was a happy B.E.P. customer – strong emphasis on the word, “was”.  My food of choice was the chicken fried chicken and I’d get the broccoli/cheese rice and green beans.  Then the dreaded day arrived – it was like any other day…Rob and I decided to have dinner at the B.E.P.  [Here’s where I hope many restaurants would get a clue.] Our host seated us RIGHT OUTSIDE THE SWINGING DOORS OF THE KITCHEN.  Wrong move.  We placed our order and began our usual entertaining conversation for two.  At the precise moment (HINT: imagine this all in slow motion – it’s more dramatic and adds to the story) the swinging door swung open and, just like in the movies where the camera zooms in on the horrifying scene, both of us turned toward the movement and were immediately and simultaneously grossed  out.   Our eyes gazed on the biggest case of “plumber” we’d ever scene. An enormous, very sweaty, icky looking cook who forgot to wear a belt that day was standing    in a stained and indescribable sick  looking wife-beater…he was standing over the stove, cooking our food, back to us, but crack exposed – ( sorry if I offend).  It was nauseating.  Our food came and neither one of us could get the image out of our heads and our food didn’t taste very good and we lost our appetites.  We managed to pick our way through the meal and left thinking we’d never return.  We were done with The Black Eyed Pea PEEK.

Today I decided to but all this “behind” [pun intended] me, after all, the cook was probably a very nice person and I should just realize that scenes like this may be common behind closed kitchen doors (ew! actually I hope not!).  We went to our table, and “bam” the image came flooding back into my mind.  I meekly ordered soup and a baked potato which seemed harmless and more healthy than my previous decade’s choice of chicken fried chicken.  It came and all I could think of was the cook who forgot his belt.  Not good.

So, I just can’t do it.  I can’t go back.  Team player or not, it just won’t work.  I texted Rob on the way back to the office briefly describing the experience.  He texted back, “I laugh!”

I’m praying I don’t get food poisoning!  🙂

(Note:  Again, if this is a restaurant you ENJOY, may you have many happy long years of ongoing ENJOYMENT, I just can’t join you.  Disregard this post and pretend you never heard of this gross mishap and remind yourself that ignorance was bliss!)

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About cakboliv

Born in Cochabamba, Bolivia to wonderful missionary parents, Howard and Maxine Morarie. Grew up in Bolivia, both in a remote jungle village

3 responses »

  1. stephanie says:

    you’re hilarious. but i must admit…something like that can scar a person for life and you really can’t be blamed.

    but i hope you realize that i’m totally calling it the black eyed peek from now on. (c;

  2. J says:

    Yikes Yes, well, that would do it. sometimes wonder if there will come a day when I know too much about every restaurant and cannot eat anywhere?…May it never be so. Ignorance is bliss, it would seem.

  3. Jason says:

    I worked at Cracker Barrel and for similar reasons will NEVER eat there.

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