Meandering through the grocery store a couple of days ago I heard the announcement on the loud speaker “…only a few of our guests will benefit from free gifts today. In just a few minutes at the end of aisles 13 and 14, near the front of the store, we will be giving away free items not available on the shelves and only to our special guests in the store today.”  Oh brother, I could hear Rob’s voice in my ear reminding me that I am a sucker for packaging, special deals, bright shiny objects.  I tried to resist.  I really did. But I just couldn’t!  Like a magnet attaching itself ferociously to a chain link fence I followed the instructions – …”just look for the laser light on the ceiling and get there quick, only a limited amount of gifts available!”  Oh, Sally Saleslady, you are a slick one!

I walked my cart by the gathering crowd, surveying the other people like me who are so polite they just have to make sure that Sally Saleslady isn’t all alone for her presentation.  Sally slithered up onto a platform type place and began her sassy presentation.  She gathered us closely to the front of her little display and described the amazing powers of a little microfiber cloth that would clean any type of substance off your glasses, computer screen, television screen – this cloth will definitely be a “must carry” in all purses everywhere.  I have to admit, I was for a moment happily swept into the glee of a free gift that was obviously the best thing since sliced bread.  What?  a 2 cm x 2 cm tiny little cloth was handed out (ok, it was a little bigger) to everyone as their free gift and ticket to something even greater to come.  Oh man, why did she have to say THAT?  Something greater to come?

I checked my watch and decided I had time to wait for something even greater.  Out came the Mr. Sticky (usually only sold on TV) fabulous lint roller that apparently can pick up even a small dog if it comes within it’s reach. Sally Saleslady demonstrated this amazing little gem by picking up cat litter, pepper, hair, lint, and the small unsuspecting toddler nearby. Wow!  Mr. Sticky is quite amazing.  This must be the other “greater to come” free gift, it MUST be!   Sally Saleslady finished demonstrating that Mr. Sticky will always stay sticky by just rinsing off in water and occasionally adding dish-soap to regain full stickiness.

Sally Saleslady checked in with everyone, asking them to hold up their “ticket” for the “greater to come” item.  Eagerly and somewhat proudly that I would be receiving such a fantastic item, I held up my teeny little microfiber cloth.  What?  It’s not free?  Sadly, Sally Saleslady went on to say that Mr. Sticky remained at the fixed price of $29.99 but that the free part is that you don’t have to pay shipping, you could just put Mr. Sticky in your grocery bags TODAY and pay for it at the checkout stand!

I was a little disgusted and started to turn away, when the “…but wait! There’s more…” rhetoric came flying out of Sally Saleslady’s mouth.  “If you do purchase a Mr. Sticky today, I’ll throw in 2 mini Mr. Stickies that are truly purse size, for free!”  Ah, that sounds good.  “AND if that’s not enough I’ll through in the super duper broom handle sized Mr. Sticky, too!” Oh man, my resolve is crumbling.  On one shoulder the devil was gleefully telling me to take 2 of these amazing deals – that would mean 4 minis, 2 regulars, and 2 super duper broom handled sized Mr. Stickies!  My world would gloriously never be the same again!  On the other shoulder a mini Rob (my husband) sat on my shoulder sarcastically reminding me that I am a sucker for packaging and deals and just can’t avoid buying them.

What’s a girl like me to do?  Clearly Mr. Sticky could revolutionize my life!

Did I do it? I could make you just wonder…but I already gave it away in the title.  I SAID…NO.  I swiveled around on my heel and ran to the check out without any Mr. Sticky in tow. Sally Saleslady – you didn’t win.  I CAN say no.  So there.

(Why do I find myself strangely fascinated still by Mr. Sticky and trying hard to resist going to the website to find out more…surely there’s an even better deal waiting for me there?)

I am a recovering bright shiny object, cool packaging purchaser who is learning to control herself. I can do this….I am a recovering bright shiny object, cool packaging purchaser who is learning to control herself. I can do this….I am a recovering bright shiny object, cool packaging purchaser who is learning to control herself. I can do this….

About cakboliv

Born in Cochabamba, Bolivia to wonderful missionary parents, Howard and Maxine Morarie. Grew up in Bolivia, both in a remote jungle village

2 responses »

  1. New Salesgirl Emily says:

    Cute. Haha. I just got a job to be that Sally Saleslady, selling, yep, Mr. Sticky. Nice to get a bunch of different perspectives on the product. Sometimes a trifle discouraging… But I think I can still forgive myself for taking the job.

    Oh, and honestly… Good for you. Congratulations on your success. Learning to resist brainwashing (and yes, I just called in brainwashing) is something that we should all be working on, we’re going to need it for the years to come.

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