Never bolt the door with a boiled carrot…

…and other Irish tidbits for you on this St. Paddy’s Day.

• As you slide down the banister of life may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.
  
• We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
  
• May you always have a clean shirt, a clear conscience, and enough coins in your pocket to buy a pint!
  
• May you have the hindsight to know where you’ve been, The foresight to know where you are going, And the insight to know when you have gone too far.
  
• May the saddest day of your future be no worse than the happiest day of your past.
  
• Wherever you go and whatever you do, May the luck of the Irish be there with you.
  
• Health and long life to you, land without rent to you, a child every year to you, and death in Old Ireland.
  
• May the roof above you never fall in, And those gathered beneath it never fall out.
  
• Here’s to health, peace and prosperity. May the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment, nor shadow of grief fall among your family and friends.
  
• May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends. And may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
  
• May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
  
• May I see you grey and combing your grandchildren’s hair.
  
• Health for life to you, A wife of your choice to you, Land without rent to you, A child every year to you, And the light of heaven after this world for you.
  
• If you are lucky enough to be Irish, then you are lucky enough.
  
• May you both live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.
  
• What’s the use of being Irish if the world doesn’t break your heart ?
  
• Bless your little Irish heart and every other Irish part.
  
• A man is often a bad adviser to himself and a good adviser to another.
  
• Good laugh and long sleep are the best cures in a doctor’s book.
  
• May you get all your wishes but one so you always have something to strive for.
  
• Only Irish coffee provides all main essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
  
• May the Lord keep you in his hand and never close his fist too tight.
  
• Never bolt the door with a boiled carrot.
  
• Beware of the anger of a patient man.
  
• A diplomat must always think twice before he says nothing.
  
• A heavy purse makes for a light heart.
  
• Marriages are all happy. It’s having breakfast together that causes all the trouble.
  
• Don’t break your shin on a stool that is not in your way.
  
• If you dig a grave for others, you might fall into it yourself.
  
• God’s mill may grind slowly, but it grinds finely.
  
• A good word never broke a tooth.
  
• It’s often a person’s mouth breaks his nose.
  
• Cheerfulness is a sign of wisdom.
  
• You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.
  
• Listen to the sound of the river and you will get a trout.
  
• The day will come when the cow will have use for her tail.
  
• May you live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.